THE PAIN OF A CHEATING SPOUSE
Written by Edith Ahurira on April 1, 2023
Did you know that the spouse who cheats experiences more pain than the one who’s been cheated on? Am sure you might be jumping to conclusions and trying to make sense of this. Well, here are some facts that might answer a few questions and give you an open mind on how to handle these situations
First and fore most one needs to understand that cheating is not a mistake, it’s something that happens over time. Unless someone wasn’t really in love but if they really were, and they even took the step further to make the vows, cheating is built with a series of events. Most people will spend some time battling the temptation, refusing it, and avoiding situations that can lead to it, but eventually fail and give in.
This hunger can become too much and it’s not that they go around looking for it, they just get to meet someone who naturally feeds them not because they have intentions to break the marriage or relationship but because that’s their nature. That is where the problem starts. Once this desire for this particular thing starts getting fulfilled it brings attraction
When that happens, the other spouse starts to feel like everything their partner does is annoying, but they also find that they are unable to leave because there are so many important people involved, such as their children, their wealth, their parents, or their extended family, and they realize that leaving is not the best course of action.
What hurts the the cheating spouse most is how they just made a decision to be with someone who is not able to give them what they desire or long for and yet, there is someone they get to meet daily or weekly who has what they desire.
It’s like seeing chicken in front of you but you can’t have it. You have to go and eat beans to protect your integrity and keep your vows well knowing it’s beans till death do you part.
Once the person cheats, they now start to feel 2 kinds of pain.
1. The pain of guilt for cheating
2. The pain of never having the chance to live a certain desired life.
People will then start to question how one gets into an affair with a person and never at any point consider how many things would be at stake. The innocent children, the husband or wife that stood the taste of times, the parents and the relatives, the wealth, all thrown away over a funny joke, some food, conversation or a hug perhaps.
Yes it doesn’t make sense at all and that’s what puzzles the cheating spouse too.
By the time a spouse who cheated is coming clean about their infidelity, they are surely dealing with so much. The easiest option would be to disappear with the lover, divorce and live the dream life.
The sad part of it all is, they never get any understanding except judgement and condemnation. In most cases, they end up losing even the little they are left with and they get to live with that pain for the rest of their lives
That explains why marriage is meant for a lifetime. By the time one goes through such and receives forgiveness, love and understanding from their spouse, nothing can break that relationship.
It is from such tragedies that people learn the greatest lessons in life. So before you condemn and begin to punish your cheating spouse, try offering understanding. Like they say, bad things happen for a good reason.
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