VILLAGE CHRONICLES: FESTIVE SEASON SURVIVAL GUIDE
Written by Edith Ahurira on November 28, 2023
Ah, the festive season, that magical time when families gather, and the holiday spirit fills the air. But, beware, dear city dwellers, for venturing into the village comes with its own set of unwritten rules and quirky adventures.
Picture this: You’ve left the hustle and bustle of the city, traded skyscrapers for scenic landscapes, and now find yourself in the heart of the village. It’s a time for joy and celebration, but before you break into your holiday dance, here are a few survival tips to ensure your festive season doesn’t turn into a rural comedy:
1. Chore Overload: In the city, house chores may be a weekend task, but in the village, it’s an everyday affair. Forget the idea of being treated like royalty; everyone pitches in. Cooking, cleaning, milking cows – you name it, you do it. Your city skills will be put to the test, and that fancy detergent you use at home? Well, say hello to “entamu,” the giant saucepan of the village.
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2. Fashion Faux Pas: Ladies, leave those skimpy clothes, tight jeans, and city slicker styles behind. The village doesn’t operate on the same fashion wavelength. You don’t want Uncle Bob mistaking you for a misplaced fashion model. Opt for the trusty dera dresses – versatile, easy to wash, and all-weather friendly. Besides, embracing the village fashion keeps you out of the gossip mill.
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3. Soap Opera in the Village: Your small bar of soap is no longer a personal affair; it’s a communal treasure. When you start washing those utensils in the village, the entire family becomes dependent on your soap prowess. Welcome to the real soap opera – where your sudsing skills become the talk of the town.
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4. Drinking Dilemmas: In the village, festive season drinking hours have no limits. Uncle Jim and Aunt Mary believe in celebrating the season to the fullest. So, while you’re nursing your hot cocoa, they’re toasting to village tales and traditions. Keep it basic, avoid becoming the talk of the village, and spare your mother from unnecessary village troubles.
So, city slickers, as you trade the urban jungle for the rural serenity, remember these village survival tips. Embrace the chores, master the art of village fashion, become the soap opera sensation, and navigate the drinking dilemmas with finesse. Because in the village, the festive season is not just a celebration – it’s a comedic adventure waiting to unfold!